Wednesday, November 23, 2011

Trading

More changes going on (when really does it ever stop?). As it turns out, writing a thesis, planning a wedding, preparing to be a wife, and working a full time job is harder than one might think. Or perhaps, it's as hard as it sounds and I was just painfully optimistic. I've been struggling the past few months with where I'm supposed to be putting my time, talent and treasure. I made the mistake (and for a while there) of trying to fit Kyle into the life I already had before I met him - and it just wasn't working. Something had to give (before I plain gave out!). After lots of prayer and repeated advice from Kyle, I'm leaving my job at the church to nanny part-time while I finish grad school (and get married!).

So, where does the trading come in you ask? Well, I'm trading in the grown up men I was working with at the church for...cute little boys! Hooray!

Aren't my cousins the cutest ever?

I hope that's ok with cousin Ted that I'm posting pictures of his kids on the internet...he does it, so it must be ok right? 
Starting in December, I will be nannying part time for my cousin (the little guys above are his adorable offspring) and a delightful woman in Queen Anne with an equally adorable little boy (not quite close enough to that family to start posting pictures of their kid on the internet...but trust me, he's a heart-melter).

I'm truly grateful for a reprieve from the past two years of working full-time while tackling grad school full-time. My gratitude is to God for His perfect provision  (the strength to get me through the past two years) and now a situation to provide relief as I re-focus my life on priorities He has put before me: being a wife and finishing school, both to the glory of God!

Giving it grace: Anyone that has known me for longer than oh...a minute(!) knows that I like to "do it all." Being able to do it all has always been my strong point, my comfort zone and my identity. At some point, I had to know that God would strip me of that pride because I was placing my identity in it, and not in Him. Because God is so loving, not only did He strip me of that pride, He then showed me what it looks like to rely on Him and follow His perfect plan for my life. What a relief! A perfect God with a perfect plan...talk about taking the pressure off me to be able to "do it all!" It's a lesson that I'm still learning, and definitely (almost daily) have to fight myself as I feel like I'm "quitting" because I couldn't meet the ridiculous expectations I was setting for myself. What God is showing me though is that my only expectation should be to honor Him, which means to follow Him and trust in Him (instead of myself)...while I'm learning, God (and others) are being gracious with me, and for that I am truly thankful.

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