Wednesday, August 28, 2013

Reasons my 7-week-old wont sleep

After scouring the internet trying to figure out why Drew suddenly only takes 45 minute naps, I came across some really helpful information. I then combined that information with several days worth of close, critical observation. The following is a fairly concrete list of reasons Drew wont sleep during his nap times:

He's too tired
He's not tired enough
He was over stimulated
He was under stimulated
He's hot
He's either just had, is in, or is about to have a growth spurt
His diaper is squishing his stomach
His diaper is squishing his male bits
His diaper is cloth
His diaper is disposable
He hiccupped, and got scared
He's cold
He wants his socks on
He wants his socks off
He doesn't know what socks are
He has the toots
Mom walked away, which means she has died
He's either just had, is in, or is about to have a Wonder Week
He wants his binky
No, the other one
Nevermind, the first one

He's full
He's hungry
The vibrating baby seat makes him feel like he's going to blast off into space
He yawned, and got more scared than when he hiccupped
He may or may not have some degree of gas (but let's give him gas drops just in case...every time)
He can't figure out how to close his eyes
When he blinks, he thinks he is disappearing
There are children screaming at our condo pool like they think they are at Wild Waves
He thinks dad is a stranger from 5:45-5:50pm...stranger danger!
Dad's mouth is too big when he says "hiiiiiiii"
The grocery delivery people make sure to wait until he's just fallen asleep to deliver groceries
His arms scare him
The groundskeepers need to run the gas powered grass trimmers exactly during his nap
They then need to run the leaf blowers exactly during his next nap
He really likes practicing the Cry It Out method, before we're actually attempting to Cry It Out
He thinks 5 minutes = 1 hour
He hates Moses, and his Basket

Giving it grace:
Whatever works...right?


  1. and SO many more reasons! My little guy only napped for 45 minutes at a time too for a while and according to the internet that is not actually a nap, well if he's closing his eyes and I could sit down for maybe 10 of those 45 minutes it was a nap to me :) Drew is such a cutie Steph, so happy for you!

  2. This. Was. Amazing!! I read it out loud to Paul and my mom since she is town! Laughed the whole way through!! Way to give yourself grace and keep some perspective... hopefully the sanity will follow :)

  3. Have a 7 week old who is not in to napping and needed a good laugh. THANK YOU. The End.